The Caged Rose
by Megumi Twiffacat
Summary: Psychopath. Killing Machine. Monster. Assassin. To them, I'm a lot of things, but to you, I'm just another girl. Aren't you the key to my freedom? ShalnarkxOC
1. Prologue

Life, is an odd thing. To live, to have a heart beating in your chest, what was the meaning behind it? Why is it so treasured? When thousands of so-called precious lives are wasted each day, when merely being alive brings so much pain and suffering. What if some lives deserved to be taken?

And that was what assassins were for, they were like tools; expensive, complex and dangerous tools, but served their purpose well if handled properly. But then again, tools would break apart. It was just a matter of time, after all, nothing lasts forever. Each and every thing in this world would disappear someday.

A single petal landed on her palm, she placed her thumb over it. Moving her finger up and down, she felt its silkiness, and her nerves settling down. A killer's instinct, one might call it. There she was, just a few seconds after the slaughter, standing amidst the freshly cut bodies. Shredded skin and puddles of blood, petals scattered all over the heaps of raw flesh, red on red.

Oh, how it soothed her, it silenced the accursed whispering voices that only she had the misfortune of hearing, it quenched her thirst for blood, and it allowed her to release all that pressure in her. Killing was a sport, an enjoyable one, one that spared her from the torment that she had to endure every single day. She felt as if she was a part with the wind that flew past, as her sword pierced and cut through soft skin and flesh in fluid movements. She didn't feel anything, just an urge for more, and she would give in to those bloody desires, until she could cut no more.

The scene she created after that was always one to admire. A glorious portrayal of macabre and beauty at the same time, that brilliant red blood stood out the most, like a shining jewel. It was something born from the magnificent painting of a great artist.

She brought up her katana, watching the silver of the metal-which clashed with deep crimson- sparkle in the moonlight. She released the stray petal and let it slowly drift down. With her other hand, she ran a finger on the thin blade; it too, became stained in red. She licked her fingers, the metallic tang in her mouth.

Let the blood spill…

Let them scream…

Let the lives fly away…

She fell to the ground, her legs folded and spread apart. She looked straight up at the inky-dark sky and the full moon shining bright. Her lips stretched into a crazed smile, and she let out an earsplitting, howling laugh, as she locked her gaze on the swollen moon, remembering those days...

**Please review, even if it's short, it'll get longer. Now, if you're confused, then wait til I update.  
**

**Disclaimer: The only person who owns HxH is Yoshihiro Togashi, I only own my OC.**


	2. First Glance

Mother.

Father.

Brother.

Zoldyck.

Identity.

What did those words mean? She couldn't help but think about during the long sessions of training-that was what they called it-it helped stall through the pain, it intrigued her, but in the end, she gave up on it. In the end, it lost its meaning. Nobody cared. She was still a child back then.

She was brought back into reality. She could feel and hear very clearly what was going on around her, but she couldn't see. It reminded her of the first sights she saw, a blend of flashing colors, screeching and pain so bad, it felt too real.

Her left hand and her right leg were chained to the stone wall. Her matted hair hung over her face in dense, tangled locks. Her body was covered in scars, the old stubborn ones that refused to fade away and the newer ones that she had to wait for to heal. Her pale face was grimy and her right eye was swollen. Aside from scars, there were the deep-blue bruises that ached whenever something came in contact with her skin.

In the poorly-lit chamber, she felt completely alone, the walls scared her. She felt as if they were threatening to close in on her, they looked like they were slowly advancing on her, trying to trap and squeeze her. It made her feel claustrophobic. She never knew anything outside of the tight-spaced room, she had never seen the light before, and she never spoke a word.

In front of her, was a huge door where a figure would make his entrance. She never once dared to raise her head, not even to look up to see his face. It was a ghost that would come every once in a while to bring her new pain and haunt her. The sound of shoes tapping against the floor made her heart race, it felt as if he had to cross a distance to reach her, sometimes she hoped he wouldn't make it, but it did nothing to null the pain of the first strike. Just like what she expected, she felt sharp pain on her head, followed by a cracking sound. She waited for what he would do next, but nothing came.

"Congratulations."

The low, yet quiet voice, sent a shiver down her spine, and for the first time, she looked up. She still couldn't see his face, covered in darkness, but she knew he had a huge build that towered over her and casted a shadow on her. She didn't know what he meant, but he sounded happy, it was the first time she heard him say something. But the feeling of relief was short-lived, when he abruptly grabbed her chin; he could have crushed the lower half of her face in his huge hand. He moved her chin up so the only thing she could see was the ceiling, her neck was starting to turn sore, but she did nothing about it. She felt something runny slip into her mouth and down her throat, it was tasteless, so she thought it was probably just water. But a few seconds later, she was proven wrong, she started coughing, her throat felt as if it was on fire, and her lungs were filled with water. She fell to her knees, even though the chains restricted her, and vomited some watery substance that was mixed with blood. Her eyes started to water and her vision was clouded, the last thing she remembered was watching him leave her.

Strangely, she didn't want him to leave, she wanted company, anyone. Once again, she was left alone to fight the pain.

Soon, she didn't react to poisons anymore but she was left with numbness, the same effect electricity had on her. It would take her some time to recover and regain all the strength she had. _"You can get out once you break those chains."_ She was told, but she only understood a portion of those words. Break thechains. Then she would be free, but what would she do? Even if she was no longer bound, what would happen to her?

Time passed, but she couldn't feel it. The difference was that nobody visited her anymore. It took her a while to fully understand, she needed to break free on her own. But, how could she possibly do it? She listened to the humming in her ears, the sound of metal clinking together as she tried to move. She tugged at her right wrist uselessly, looking at the brace around her thin wrist that was attached to the chain. She sensed it when it got darker, at first, she used to get a little drowsy, but now she had lost the need for sleep. She was changing, her body was changing. She tried hard for twelve days and eleven nights, even though most of her time was spent on hopeless struggling, which she had done in frustration.

Finally, after all those days, the agony turned into annoyance. She worked on her arm first, pulling hard, until, the links were separated, the longer half of the chain dropping onto the floor. Then she did the same with her leg.

For a moment, she stared at her right hand in awe, shaking it and moving her fingers. Then, she made a run for the door, stumbling in the way, she heard a high-pitched cry, and came to a stop, just when she was only a few steps away. What was that sound? Was it her?

The young girl shook her head, and went on forward, she used both of her arms to push open the door, and took a step into the foreign, fluorescent light.

**Tell me, does my writing really suck that bad? :/**


	3. Name

All through her short life, she was taught to obey, and nothing more. To kneel and with her head stooped and not to attempt at anything else, and that was what she did.

Despite what she thought for three years, she wasn't alone. There were many other inhabitants of the place, but she had only seen two of them, she had only heard the rest. She was, however, forbidden to speak with any of them. The imposing, long-haired man being the only exception.

Even if she knew how to speak, she rarely used her voice, she herself can't remember what it sounded like. She asked herself so many questions; _Why? Who am I? What am I? Who are they? _

It had been two years since she had been freed. The place she slept in, played in and lived in was a spacious one, with winding staircases, many corners and rooms, and a basement underneath. She had met those people in black suits, who always greeted her whenever they came across her.

For some reason, she liked being outdoors more. There was a dense forest that surrounded her home, and the giant canine-like beast which she had always liked, it was quite a shame that he didn't return her feelings, or maybe he just wasn't one to get up and mingle with anyone. Then again, Mike-as she had heard the gatekeeper call him-was a guard dog, not a lapdog.

She felt lonely for most of the time, but then she began to get used to it. Feelings were unnecessary and would only be a hindrance for her later on, at least, that was what she was taught. _They_ had taught her many things, they were preparing her for her future. It wasn't until a year later that she began to understand that they were her family. Though it was strange to think that they were related to each other, much less her. They were all very different, and eccentric.

The one who she knew the most was her second older brother, who referred to himself as Milluki. Sometimes he talked to her and watched over her and her younger sibling. When she was bored, she would come to him to 'play' with, but he never let her set a foot inside his room, and even warned her once that he would kill her if she ever did. She listened, and promised never to. Maybe they could work together when they were older, if only he wasn't so short-tempered.

Illumi, she had only heard the name from her father. He was far older and stronger than her, and there was no doubt that he knew more than her. She had never talked to him, he cared for Killua more than he did to her or Milluki. There was always something about him that unsettled her. She thought Killua was the strangest out of all her brothers, even if he was still so young and small. His hair color matched that of their father and grandfather's, he was special, and a favorite, she had been quite jealous of him at first.

One place in particular that she loved to be in, was the garden. The flowers that came in many colors and shapes fascinated her the most. They were beautiful, but unfortunately, they never lasted long. In fact, nothing beautiful would last long, such as those butterflies that were lured by the sweet scents of a hundred flowers, they were all unbelievably frail and short-lived. Nevertheless, she loved being in the garden. Sitting on the soft grass, hugging her knees, smelling the flowers' perfume and watching how some of their petals swayed ever so slightly in a gentle breeze.

The more she grew, the more she changed. She understood why she had experienced the harshest treatment out of all her siblings, because she was weak.

Weak.

Buried in the deepest pits in her heart, she hid burning, envious hatred for all her siblings. Other than just a faint taste of it, she felt nothing at all, her heart had gone numb. She was like a shadow, no one would spare her a mere glance. She was insignificant to them, the only reason they hadn't gotten rid of her in the first place, was because she had survived.

She had a weak mind as well, as it didn't take much to break her down. She not only had scars on her body, but in the inside as well.

She didn't know there more of them.

So she had another, no two, younger siblings. She didn't bother to learn their names, they would mean little to her anyway. To her, names and faces were all the same, it was the inside that determined whether they deserved to die or not. She had never seen the youngest one before, but the second one was standing so close to her at that moment.

She was inside, in her favorite spot , the living room, curled into a ball on the carpet. When she heard footsteps padding on the floor, she knew he was coming long before he appeared at the entrance.

The child had dark hair, the exact same shade as hers that fell past his shoulders. He had dark eyes that were full of life, and a young, round face. She wouldn't have thought he was male if he didn't wear boy's clothes, like the kind Killua wore.

She paid him no attention, just as what she did to everybody else unless she needed something. But she knew he was staring at her, even though she wasn't looking at him, she tried her best to avoid his gaze.

"_What's your name?"_

He had asked. Loud and clear, impossible for her ears to miss. So why did it sound like an illusion born from her speeding train of thoughts?

She looked at him, he was now kneeling, and had gotten very close to her. Their faces were inches apart.

"I'm sorry, I don't know." She said, it was a breath away from a whisper.

"Why?"

"I don't know..."

He kept silent for a moment, she thought he had gotten bored with her and was going to leave shortly, but he said something else.

"Mine is Alluka! Nice to meet you, onii-san!"

"W-What did you just call me?" She weakly asked.

"Big sister! You're my big sister!"

"Why did you call me your sister? You don't even know me."

"Because you are my sister! If you can't remember your name, we can ask!"

"…What?"

Ask? Ask for her name? That was the most ridiculous request she could think of. She didn't need a name. She had lived for ten years, and never once had she heard it.

"So? Onii-san, I'm bored, let's find your name!" Alluka giggled, a high tinkling sound, something she had heard from a child, but that child was gone.

"No."

"But Onii-saaannn!" He wailed, grabbing her hand, and pulling her, or at least trying to. She didn't budge, he ended up falling backwards, he pouted as he hit the floor.

"That hurt! You're mean!"

She turned away from him and averted her gaze to the wall in front of her. Surprisingly, he didn't leave. But instead, he sat up and scooted closer to her. He then leaned his head on her shoulder, causing her to flinch at first. She pushed him away gently, but almost immediately, he kept going back. If she used force on him, it might hurt him, so she decided to bear with it, after all, she was forced to endure much greater pain, this was nothing.

He was warm, she noted. She had been accustomed to cold, feeling the warmth of another body was foreign to her.

"Eh, Alluka, we can go now."

"Go where?"

"Find out what my name is." Not that she wanted to, but she had nothing to do at the moment, and having she knew if she had not said it, Alluka would have fallen asleep on her. She didn't like that, and if she hurt him, mother and father would not be very happy.

"We can ask Killua-nii!"

"No."

"But why? Don't you like him?"

She didn't answer, she didn't want to meet him.

"Please?"

Alluka stared up at her, he was half her height, and her age as well, she guessed.

She nodded, and watched him smile. Still clutching her hand tightly, he lead her away.

They found Killua walking down the hallway. He looked indifferent as usual, his eyes were half-closed and he had his hands in his pockets. She thought he would have passed them if Alluka hadn't yelled out his name.

"Onii-chan!"

"Alluka!" His face lit up immediately, but his smile faded when he saw her.

"Alluka, why is she with you?" He tilted his head, and kept his eyes on Alluka, ignoring her, save for the question.

"I want to ask you for her name?"

"Why didn't you ask her?"

"She doesn't know." Killua's raised his eyebrows and glanced at her, then broke into a short, but loud laugh.

She ignored it, staring at her feet instead.

"Alluka, her name's Aillume. Everyone knows it, I'm surprised she herself doesn't."

Aillume.

Aillume, she said it in her head. It burned her mouth like acid used to. Alluka smiled at her, then turned to Killua. "Thank you, onii-chan! Now I know what to call Aillume-san!"

"No problem, Alluka, I'm going to go now."

"Okay, bye!"

He waved at Alluka before passing them, Aillume didn't miss the sideward glare he gave her from behind. It was obviously a warning not to do anything that would hurt Alluka. Were they close? She wondered.

She went on several missions and tasks that required her to step out of their mansion and travel outside to get to her targets.

The euphoria she had gotten from killing had been mild then, it was pleasant, she could say. But she found it more of a chore than something she was supposed to enjoy.

She stood in a humid and small room. The faded green paint was chipping off the walls, the wooden floor had some nails sticking out. It was dusty and she could hear the chattering of mice coming from inside a hidden hole. The place was disgusting, the target had been stupid enough to leave the door unlocked when he had gone out, she was forced to wait for him.

She sat on the bed, the dust-covered sheets bothered her a little, but she did nothing about it. She was taken in her thoughts, Aillume, that name was hers. She couldn't get that and Alluka out of her mind.

The door swung open slowly, a portly middle-aged man in overalls stood there. He was murderer, who had been incredibly hard to catch, as reported by the client.

A look of confusion stuck to his face for a while. She didn't expect him to understand, anyway. Her appearance wasn't anything special, she looked like a typical ten-year old girl, with her long, braided pigtails, her simple, long-sleeved black dress that reached her knees, and knee-high black socks and bright red shoes. She stared back at him for a while, waited for him to close the door behind him, then leapt at her prey.

She made sure she was fast enough so he didn't have time to react, or else it would have been messy. Once she had gotten off the bed, she ran and kicked him in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him and sending him to the ground, all of that happened in less than a minute. Then she slit his throat with the knife she had been hiding behind her back, there was only a squirt of blood that spilled on the floor, it wasn't a problem, but still, she could have been more careful.

She wiped it with her sleeve, and left the knife, it was too risky to be seen with such a thing in public.

When she went back home, she rushed to the garden. Once again, it was her favorite place to be, after she completed her missions, she would go there, it had been a routine for her now. She didn't expect to find Alluka there, however.

He was with a butler, who was kneeling down and making odd faces at him. Aillume didn't understand. The butler stopped when she saw Aillume standing behind Alluka. Alluka was completely oblivious, until he noticed the butler acting strangely.

"Ah, Aillume-sama, does my presence bother you?"

"No, but, I want to talk to Alluka." She stated, the words simply rolled off her tongue, she had no idea why, maybe it was because she felt uneasy with the butler there.

"Oh, then would you be so kind to watch over him?"

"Okay, I guess."

"Thank you very much, Aillume-sama." With that, she got up and walked away briskly, though Aillume noticed that she wasn't heading in the direction of the mansion.

Alluka tugged on her sleeve, "Onii-san, play with me."

"What game do you want to play, Alluka?"

"Carry me! Carry me!"

"Not that…"

"Onii-san! Please!" His eyes pleaded with her, she gave in.

"Okay, Alluka, but only for a while." She hooked her arms around his, and lifted him with a grunt. Alluka laughed and squirmed.

"That's enough! Put me down, Onii-san!"

"No! I can do longer!" Aillume cried out, she did something she had rarely did, she laughed, along with Alluka.

"Wah! Onii-san! Put me down now!"

Aillume did so that time, her cheeks were flushed. Alluka grinned, his eyes sparkled. "Onii-san, that was fun. Will you play with me again?"

"I will, Alluka." Aillume felt warmth spreading in her chest, she had never felt like that before, but it was nice. She wanted it, yet it made her sad at the same time. She didn't know why, she never understood a lot of things, anyway.

One thing she noticed whenever she was around Alluka, she felt a wave of emotions rolling gently in her, it was strange but pleasant at the same time. The more she was with him, the more those feelings welled in her, but it also filled her with longing that grew greater every time. She knew that Alluka spent more time with Killua than her, and he was closer to Killua than he was with her.

On a certain afternoon, she found Alluka all alone in the garden. He turned his head to see Aillume when he heard the sound of shoes crunching grass.

"Onii-san!"

"Hi, Alluka."

"Onii-san, sit with me!"

"Of course, Alluka." She knelt down beside him and let him lean on her, just as what he did the first time they met.

"Onii-san?"

"What?"

"Why do you always look so sad?"

"Really? I never thought so."

"You do."

"Why do you care anyway?"

"Because onii-san is my friend, and if onii-san is sad, I am sad too."

"Alluka, I am not your friend."

"Eh? But onii-san always plays with me."

"Just because I play with you, it doesn't mean we're friends! I'm just taking care of you!" _Why? _ An unheard question,_ why do you treat me this way? Is it because you're mocking me? Because I'm so weak? Why do I feel this way?_

She didn't know what a friend is, to her, such a thing did not exist.

"Onii-san, why are you crying?"

"I'm not." Her voice was muffled.

Alluka kept silent, Aillume heard him getting up and walking away, she desperately wanted him to leave, but yet, it felt wrong. What if he leaves and would never see her again?

Why did she even care?

She thought he was already gone, but hearing a small, familiar voice told her otherwise.

"Onii-san."

She slowly opened her eyes, they were a little wet at the sides, was it rain? It hadn't been raining. She let out a soft gasp when she saw what he was holding.

A garland of flowers, it was small and quite messy, but still such a pretty thing. She loved flowers more than anything else, but maybe Alluka would change that.

"Onii-san has done a lot of things for me, so I wanted to do something for Onii-san."

He stepped closer to her and placed the wreath as carefully as he could over her head. Aillume's eyes were wide, she was frozen, even when she felt a slight brush of his fingers at the sides of her face. Her vision was starting to blur.

"Onii-san is my friend, right?"

Aillume felt as if all her muscles have suddenly stopped, time slowed, it was endless for her. Her lips quivered, she felt something wet slide down her warm cheek.

"Y-Yes, you are my friend, Alluka."

She smiled with all her heart and closed her eyes as she pulled his warm body to her in a tight hug.

**Argh! So hard to get everyone IC!**

**I sat on a cat today, oh wait, I don't have a cat….that's me.**

**Thanks to AKholic, OrigamiNinjaGirl and Colorless Butterfly, I wanna hug all of you for reviewing. Feel free to point some stuff I messed up. **


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